Things to Consider Before You Ask for a Recommendation

An instructor on a video call
Categories: Career Resources
November 9th, 2026
By David Fortna, M.Ed., PCC

In a recent post about building your network as an online student, I discussed the importance of building real connections over time. Those relationships can matter later when you need someone to speak to your work through a reference or letter of recommendation.

For online students, building that kind of relationship with a faculty member can take a little more intention. You may never sit in the same classroom or have a conversation before or after class, but you still have opportunities to connect. Attend office hours when you can. Ask a thoughtful question about something from class. Follow up on feedback that was especially helpful. If a faculty member mentions an area of research or professional experience that interests you, ask about it. You do not need to manufacture a relationship. The goal is to create a few real interactions beyond submitting assignments.

Making the Request

When you are ready to ask, give the person enough time. When possible, three to four weeks is a good target, although some opportunities may come together more quickly. Be clear about what you are applying for, when the recommendation is due, and why you are asking them specifically. A last-minute request may put them in a difficult position and can also limit how thoughtful their recommendation can be.

It can also help to ask whether they feel comfortable providing a strong recommendation. That gives them room to be honest. Hearing “no” may feel disappointing, but it is better than getting a vague or lukewarm recommendation from someone who doesn’t feel they know you well enough to represent you.

Deciding Who to Ask

You may be thinking, what if no faculty member feels like the obvious choice? Start by looking at the requirements for whatever you are applying to. If a faculty recommendation is not specifically required, a supervisor, professional mentor, adviser, or someone else who knows your work well may be a stronger option than choosing a professor simply because of their title.

It is worth taking that question seriously. I have served on admission committees, and recommendation letters can add important context to an application. The strongest letters help the reader understand who you are beyond grades, a résumé, or a personal statement. They give specific examples of how you think, contribute, respond to challenges, or work with others.

Not every recommender will be in a position to do that. Some may only know you through your final grade, while others may rely on a more general template. That does not necessarily mean they think poorly of you. It may simply mean they do not know you well enough to write the kind of letter that adds much to your application.

That is why your goal is not just to get a “yes.” The goal is to ask someone who can write an authentic recommendation about you. If they agree, give them a few things that will help them write something specific: your résumé and, if helpful, a reminder of a project, class, accomplishment, or experience you worked on together. The idea is not to write the recommendation for them, but to give them enough context to make the letter specific and personal.

Following Up on Your Request

If you do not hear back after your initial request, a short and polite follow-up after about a week is reasonable, especially if the deadline is getting closer. Once the recommendation is submitted, a simple thank-you goes a long way. If you are comfortable, let them know what happens with the opportunity.

A strong recommendation is rarely about finding the person with the most impressive title. It is about finding someone who knows your work, understands your strengths, and can speak meaningfully about you.

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