Using Correct Names: A Small Step with a Large Impact

Group of sticky notes, each of which has a common name written on it.
Categories: Campus Life Health Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
May 5th, 2025
By Denita Wright Watson

An easy way to show someone respect and make a great first impression is to address them by their name — not by the name that is easiest for you to learn, but by their given or preferred name.

Imagine you’re meeting with your classmates for the first time via Zoom to work on a project. A student introduces herself to the group and says, “Hello, I’m Rutuja.” She notices right away that some are having a hard time remembering her name and others can’t seem to pronounce it correctly. Rutuja smiles, and makes light of it, saying, “Just call me Ruth; it’s easier for you to say.” This comes as a relief to other group members, who immediately oblige, calling her Ruth throughout the project.

Were the students wrong to call Rutuja what she asked to be called? No, they weren’t. But imagine the message that would have been conveyed to her if someone said, “That isn’t a name that I’ve heard before, so I might pronounce it incorrectly at first, but I’d like for you to help me learn it.” That would have said to Rutuja, “I see you, and I care enough to want to honor who you are.”

Sure, it was Rutuja’s idea for the group to call her “Ruth,” but let’s understand what may have prompted her to do that. Imagine if each time you meet someone and tell them your name, they look at you with a puzzled look on their face. Or you tell them your name and rather than attempt to learn it, they very noticeably just avoid addressing you. Or they decide it’s too hard to remember, so they tell you, “I’m just going to call you ________” and they make up something catchier. In an effort to make things easier, Rutuja allowed people to call her by the name that makes them feel most comfortable, sacrificing her own identity.

Why it's important to use correct names

When you take the time to learn the correct pronunciation of someone’s name and you address them as such, they may be a little surprised because people often do what is easiest for them. Your effort will stand out and make that person feel like they belong.

This is a very small gesture that goes a long way in showing respect for someone. A name represents who a person is—their identity. It is part of their culture. Therefore, choosing to learn and use someone’s given name tells them, "I see you and I appreciate you."

Think about your own name and what it represents. You may be named after a beloved relative or a celebrity, or perhaps your name holds a sentimental value. Imagine being in a setting where your name is viewed as unusual or difficult to pronounce. Would it be offensive if others chose not to acknowledge you by your given name? Would you readily allow a name of no significance to be assigned to you? Would you willingly assume a new identity to please others?

When we choose not to honor a person’s correct/preferred name, we are saying that we don’t value who they are. We are showing them that they aren’t important enough for us to address them in a manner which makes them feel seen.

Asking how to address someone

There’s no need to be embarrassed if you’re not sure of someone’s correct name or aren’t confident that you know the proper pronunciation. The important thing is that you take the time to learn.

When I’m unsure of a person’s name or how to pronounce it, I’ll simply say, “I want to make sure I’m honoring your name correctly. Can you say it for me?” It may take you more than once to say it correctly, but the person will probably appreciate that you are making the effort to learn their name, rather than taking a shortcut. It is a sign of respect.

How employers can help

Employers can encourage their employees to use their preferred names when engaging with others, such as during introductions or in meetings, email signature lines, Zoom screen names, Microsoft Outlook, the company directory, or any other communications. They may also encourage employees to include the phonetic spelling of their names to avoid mispronunciation.

If you make a mistake

No matter how hard we try to be conscientious about using people’s correct names, occasional mistakes may still happen. If you realize that you have inadvertently called someone by the wrong name or mispronounced their name, acknowledge it. Let the person know that you realize your mistake and apologize. This lets them know that you are aware of their preference and you want to honor them. We’re human and we’re going to make mistakes. No one expects anyone to be perfect. So when you make a mistake, own it, and try to be more mindful going forward. By acknowledging and apologizing, it shows the other person that you respect them and are making a conscious effort to do better.

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